The Pipeline
Just curious...Does a direct pipeline exist from your husband's/wife's/significant other's/partner's ass to your nose?
I'm not sure how it happens, but after Tate emits the nastiest, noxious, gag inducing fart, I can smell it in NANOsecond.
I want to put a plug in his ass and remove the direct pipeline which is apparently surgically installed in my nose.
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Men?
13 People are even more brilliant:
LOL!!! I'm not sure, but I happen to know for a fact the dogs have one. Blech.
OMG! I have heard it all now! But I DO know what you mean. Ewww...
Well, your post gave me my morning laugh - it was a great way to wake up this morning!!! LOL. I have wondered the same thing though, well, almost - I've never considered the pipeline idea, but have wondered why everybody else seems oblivious and I am nearly gagging.
Here comes a tall tale.
My husband's family has some lower digestive disorder that causes them to produce and RELEASE a disproportionately higher amount of farts. Not that they all stink, but there are definitely more. There's not a lot he can do about it. He can't take Beano, because his son is breastfed.
oops. I just gave it all away, didn't I?
Actually Stinkerbell and Lucky are world-class farters. Lucky's farts will singe the hairs in your nose. 11 weeks old and farting like an old man who just ate a crockpot of pinto beans.
ROTFL! I must have the same nasal implant. God help us!
I'm with you girl...it's gnarly...usually I can even smell them from two rooms over.
This reminds me of when we were looking for our house. Gavin wanted this house that, was otherwise perfect. Except it had a bathroom in the kitchen. IN THE KITCHEN. No. I was not going to live in a house where he could use the bathroom in the kitchen.
No, our bathrooms are far away from our kitchen.
Hmmm.... I'm not sure. But... does your husband ever say "I just farted, it's bad, breath through your mouth."?
After the birth of my 2nd son, the pipeline was surgically removed from dh's ass to my children's ass. I smell their farts before they even omit them.
Gross, we don't fart in our family.
*SNIGGER*
I've decided I need to invent plugins for our husbands. You could just plug it into your hubby and it would automatically convert the emissions into a beautiful botanical blend to freshen your home!
We'll have to come up with something good to convince them to plug it in though! :)
Well, thanks for taking me down a couple notches. I thought I was the only person skilled in the fine art of sonic-farts. I guess my fellow carpoolers will be quite disturbed to learn that there are actually other people in the world that share this same ability. :P
It's even worse when you're pregnant...My Baby's Daddy let one rip when I was pregnant with my first child that made me throw up orange juice all over the place. Who says romance is dead?
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