We Shall Never Speak of This Again
Here's a snippet of some of the things I heard this past week...
Overheard in the hall of the urologist's office yesterday...
Doctor: Ms. Playgroupie is ready to have her stent removed.
Nurse: I've never removed a stent before.
Doctor: Oh, it's no big deal. You just pull it out. You've never done one, huh?
Nurse: No.
Doctor: It's easy. You'll be fine. She's right in there.
The door opens.....
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A "conversation" with Tate.
Me: "I like that new Volvo that has the ability to alert you if someone is in your car."
Tate: "Wouldn't you know if someone is in your Vulva?"
Me: "Not Vulva, Volvo."
Tate: "Talking about Vulvas is much more fun."
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Overheard in a restaurant.
Person 1: "Ewww, Do you smell that?"
Person 2: "No, what? Oh, wait, ooooh gross."
Person 1: "I think that kid sitting behind us crapped his pants."
Person 2: "That smells terrible, we gotta move tables. I can't eat with that smell."
****
A certain pregnant, full of flatulence woman snickers to herself AND blushes from embarrassment.
We shall never speak of this again.
26 People are even more brilliant:
loved this.
Never spoken of again in our house:
Stinkerbell's other nickname: "Kid-sized paper mill" because hers smell like a paper mill's exhausts.
In Walm@art w/Stinkerbell before Lucky's birth... "Mommy I smell eggs..."
Spoken every single day in our house:
"Good grief! Son! How can a breastfed baby stink like you do? That's just unholy!"
lolol Too funny! Those are interesting conversations. I have always wondered what it would be like to be a fly on the wall and listen to other people's coversations. I admit it - I am a snoop.
I had the same problem during pregnancy. Not a high point in the pregnancy!
I love the vulva too...especially when someones in it. tee hee...
I can't blame the kid. She tells everyone I fart.
I would have thrown a fit when the nurse walked in! Hope it all worked out okay.
Another perfect reason to breed children: So you can "blame it on the kid(s)"!!!
Too funny.
Hope you don't mind me dropping in. This is your first post that I've read...and I think you are too funny! No pressure, but I'll be back for more. :)
wow I don't think I would like to be a fly on the wall of a doctors office. I am sure there is stuff I just don't want to hear!
Funny stuff but the first one sounded sort of scary! I'm never comfortable when a doctor says something like 'I've got to go but I've shown the nurse how to do this. I'm sure it will be okay!'. Anyway, good list. Made me giggle!
Hehehe! I'm in awe of your humor today.
That is so funny!! I'd of had a "HELL NO" moment when I heard the Dr. and nurse have that conversation.
The beauty of having a kid is you can always blame them for your gas! Way to go!!
My dad once had a nurse that was about 90 something years old (not really, but according to him, she was really old) come, shaking hands, to remove stitches above his eye... He's definitely not brave as you, I remember him removing the stitches in the bathroom at home later that day.
Then there's Charity... She let a loud one rip and then says, "Hear that noise? It's my booty."
heeheehee. Thanks for the giggles!
Too funny! Remind me I am NOT sitting next to you at the next playdate ;)
When I was 4-5 I had to have a catheter (sp?) put in for an operation. All I can remember is how painful it was to put it in and remove it. Whenever I heard that word, I still shudder 25 years later.
/shudder
how funny!!
LOL! (except for the first one!)
Yes, blaming the gases on the kids works. Until the kids start to rat you out. "Mommy? What's that smell? It's from your butt!" Yeah, darling.
Snort* Got a good laugh!
Thanks for the laughs! Blaming it on Sweet Boy always worked until just last week when (out of the blue) he says "Mommy, you just stinked up my whole room!" Oops, BUSTED!
I hope everything came out ok at the doctor's.
Tee Hee...Love the Volvo one!!
OK that's pretty funny... totally takes me back to pregnancy- I think DH spent the whole time hoping the farting would go away once DS was born...
These are hilarious! I laughed so hard, especially at the VULVA one. I am glad that you are doing better :)
Reminds me of the time they had to call three more interns in because they couldn't find someone's cervix.
Where the hell were they looking?
Hilarious!
LMAO!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!! LMAO You crack me up!
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