May the Meme R.I.P

I'm taking a hiatus from doing memes for awhile, but for one last hurrah, I'm doing this 5 things meme.

Auburn Gal Always tagged me for this one and since she's one of my blogging bff's, I wanted to end with hers...

5 things I want to do before I die:
1. Go to Hawaii and stay in a private bungalow, complete with butler, right on the beach
2. See my children's' children
3. Have thin thighs, either by exercise and diet or surgical removal of the lard firmly attached to my ass
4. Take a cooking class, preferably a private lesson with Alton Brown
5. Learn how to take a decent photograph

5 things I can do:
1. Belch like a man, you're impressed, I'm sure. (You should be.)
2. Pick up things off the floor with my toes. Very handy when you have an infant who always seems to be nursing.
3. Poop in front of an entourage. Again, you're impressed. Yadda yadda yadda.
4. French braid my own hair. Too bad it's not 1982. It's a worthless skill in 2007.
5. Sing the lyrics to most songs. Not well, though, the sound of my voice can be equated to the sound of a very ill peacock.

5 things I cannot do:
1. Run a 5K, but just you wait.
2. Use a brush to blow dry the hair in the back of my head.
3. Make a stollen the way my MIL can.
4. Watch movies where something bad happens to animals.
5. Eat raw onions. I also feel that nobody should eat raw onions. Not only are they disgusting, they make you stink. I'm calling my congressman about this very issue.

5 things that make a man attractive to me:
1. Sense of humor
2. Attention to the little details
3. Ability to fix things
4. Devotion to children
5. A large penis (Come on ladies, I'm NOT the only one.)

5 celebrities that I crush on:
1. David Beckham
2. Josh Duhamel
3. Alton Brown
4. Patrick Dempsey
5. George Clooney

This now concludes (for the time being) my relationship with the meme.

R.I.P.