I'm Calling Uncle

Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever on the "to do" list. Actually, I already know the answer. And damnit if the answer isn't a resounding NO.

If I have one more conversation about purple fountain grass and mondo grass, I may chew off my own tongue. The thought of having the billionth conversation about our "hypothetical" dream kitchen makes me want to gouge out my eyeballs. I don't give a rat's ass if we restain the grout on the flipping kitchen floor. Nobody cares. No, I don't like bamboo floors. Yes, the "new" shag carpet is neat. Your right, dear, we really should have that alarm system activated. The garage floor? Oh we should certainly run right out and buy that fancy hybrid polymer floor coating. I suppose we should pull up the azalea bushes now. It's such a pressing matter. The windows need to be caulked? And your going to be outside for how long? Yeah! (jumping up and down for joy), I mean, sure go ahead darling. Yes, we do need new blinds in the whole house because the former owners were heavy smokers and they are yellow instead of white. Putting slate tile on the back patio would be a lovely addition. I can't wait to pick out new office furniture so that we can finally get organized in there. Granite countertops, a new stove, and sink would be fanfuckingtastic.

This was the "to do" list discussion from today.

TODAY.

HELP ME.

I haven't had a haircut since October. Color? July.

I have 4 short sleeve maternity shirts and 2 of them are two small to wear in public. I have 1 pair of maternity jeans.

I drive into town only twice per week (or less) to save gas.

Forgive me for my selfishness and lack of enthusiasm for home improvement.