I'm Only Telling You This Because the Voices in My Head Told Me To
I'm just a wee bit slap happy seeing as I've been up since 4am. No attack of the blogging brain here, just a mind that has no trouble dreaming up things to worry about.
Thank goodness for all the worries, both rational and irrational, to get me prepared for my upcoming sleepless nights. I woke up in a panic last night worried about what would happen if I went on bedrest. Who would care for Peanut? How would I get the house in order and ready for Petunia?
This led to worries about my lack of readiness for Petunia's arrival. WE DON'T HAVE A CRIB MATTRESS YET! This seemed like a most pressing issue in the wee hours in the morning. Nevermind, she'll be in a bassinet at least for a while.
Then my panic continued as I started to realize that I'll most likely deliver NEXT MONTH. Oh holy Jesus. NEXT MONTH. What the hell were we thinking having babies 18 months apart?! How am I going to take care of both of them?
My mind wasn't finished with it's nighttime assault. I started really worrying about Peanut's well-being and how he'd react with Petunia's arrival. Oh how sad I felt for him. His world, I was sure this morning, was going to come CRASHING DOWN.
I have no idea how or when I fell back to sleep. I know it wasn't long before I heard Peanut's chattering over the monitor.
It's amazing how in the light of the morning the panic that had gripped me, seemed so much less pressing. I didn't feel paralyzed with fear and worry. Things will work out. They have to. I am calm. At least until tonight.
8 People are even more brilliant:
Yeah, what IS it with that? The things that in the night seem SO TERRIBLE AND PRESSING, in day seem like they'll be fine. I keep lying awake worrying about room arrangements and car seat configurations and stroller issues--and then in the day I think, "Well, we'll work it out. It's not like we have to figure it out RIGHT THIS SECOND." Tell it to THE NIGHT.
Oh! And painting the hallway. It's all smudgey and chipped and a little crayon-y, and during the night I practically weep wondering how I'm going to get around to painting it since it connects to all the living room walls and THEY'D need to be repainted TOO, and also the FOYER--and in the daytime I think, "Who really cares if the hallway looks bad?"
You'll do fine!!! Claire was not even 2 yet when Taylor was born and somehow, someway - it all worked out.
And did you feel guilty for being the one to turn Peanut's world upside down? Because I know I did!
It's so overwhelming to think about, isn't it? But then, when you're in that moment (with a newborn and a toddler), you just DO IT and before you know it, it's a year later and you think, "How the HELL did I do that?"
deep breath.
nesting, it's a bitch.
I also get wicked nighttime anxiety sometimes and I remember it being particularly horrendous while I was pregnant. My biggest anxiety was that we would go broke financially, that and all of the nesting stuff. I don't know why, but I was gripped by the idea of her having a perfect nursery. If I had only known that she wouldn't sleep in her room until she was close to 8 mos old!
I'm sure everything will be fine. Take deep breaths. It will all work out!
my two yr. old will be sharing a room w/ new baby (due nxt month) and i find myself worrying that he will for sure throw his pillow in on him or s/thing and i don't know how this is all going to work,but it has to. I am sure our blogs will get funnier then,huh? I may bunk minman (2) in w/his sister at first...anyway, i can completely understand your anxiety ~from one new mom on the fritz to another.
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