I Am B.O.R.E.D
As a result of the Spinal block I received for my surgery the other day, I'm unable to do anything but lie down. I can't sit up or walk without excruciating pain in my head. I've urged Tate to go ahead with the craniectomy, but he says it would be too messy and might "damage" Peanut. Whatever.
So, anyway, here I lie. Bored. Why can't there be anything good on TV? There's not even a good movie on pay-per-view! The Cubs and Cardinals game is on TV, but their games always stress me out. (I have a severe aversion to the Cubs...sorry to any of my Chicago readers.)
I would again like to thank each of you for all your kind words and encouragement through this sucky time. I will be making rounds and trying to thank all of you in your comments sections...it'll take some time.
I hope next week to post something a smidge more entertaining than my woes. I'm getting bored with my own posts.
17 People are even more brilliant:
Would you like me to e-mail you some porn? Or just send over a couple of midget strippers? That will cheer you up, right?
Hope it gets better soon!
Have you called your doctor to let them know you have a spinal headache? There is a med they can give you, it's caffeine based and works fantastic. I had one after I had Damian and I was useless until they called it in for me.
I don't think I could say anything funnier than what Toni said.
Enjoy the bliss of staying in bed. I can't remember the last time I was allowed (let alone forced!) to stay in bed for that long!!
Gotta couple of jokes for you:
Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A: A golden retriever
Q: How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A: Opens the car door.
Hope that cracked a smile on your face! Oh- hope you aren't blond! ;^)
Oh gosh! I've been crazy-busy this week, and haven't been here in a several days! I'm sorry you've been in pain and "under the weather." Keep resting, and feel better soon!
I'm the other Toni. Toni (the original) said we should stop by and try to cheer you up. Okay, I'll share a joke I read over at Our Seven QTPies' blog. Hope ya feel better soon.
Bungee Jumping
Alice and Frank are Bungee-jumping one day. Alice says to Frank, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own Bungee-jumping business in Mexico." Frank thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work
When they had finished, there was such a crowd, they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration.
So, Alice jumps. She bounces at the end of the cord, but when she comes back up, Frank notices that she has a few cuts and scratches.
Unfortunately, Frank isn't able to catch her and she falls again, bounces, and comes back up again. This time, she is bruised and bleeding. Again, Frank misses her.
Alice falls again and bounces back up.This time, she comes back pretty messed up -- she's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Frank finally catches her this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
Barely able to speak, Alice gasps, "No, the Bungee cord was fine...It was the crowd. What the hell is a piñata?!"
Oh dear! I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.
Toni told us to come over and visit with you and try to make you laugh, however it is late and my brain is a little muddled from changing one of my templates yet again.
And I must say, it is hard to beat the picture of midget strippers that I will now probably dream about!
If you get too bored come by and visit my sites. I have a couple stories about my kids that might make you laugh. If nothing else, I've linked a bunch of other sites I like and you may find a laugh or two there.
If I can think of a good joke or two I'll come back and post them for you!
Okay, I just remember an email I received a few days ago. This should make you laugh. I'm not sure if it is really a true story or not, but who cares!
The Washcloth.......
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the
week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office
to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am.
I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it
was already around 8:45 am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have
any time to spare.
As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over
hygiene when making such visits,
but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort.
So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth
that was sitting next to the sink,
and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure
I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the
clothes basket,
donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my
appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was
called in.
Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the
table,
looked over at the other side of the room and pretended
that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said,
"My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?"
I didn't respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.
The rest of the day was normal . Some shopping, cleaning,
cooking.
After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing,
she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"
I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink,
it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."
Never going back to that doctor ever.
Here's a joke for you...
After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.
"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.
That's me before the surgery."
You all are THE BEST!!!!!
This is all putting a much needed smile on my face!!
Thanks for all the jokes!
And Toni (special k), I am a blond at heart, but never offended by a goood joke!
there's not much fun to be had while lying down, huh? Gets pretty boring after a while too. I'd come over and entertain you butttttt with that headache I don't know that it would be fun for you? Call your doctor and see if they can give you anything for that headache. When you feel up for entertainment in person, give me a call!
I'm singing, I'm dancing, I'm doing a jig! Laughing yet? If I were doing these things in person you sure would be...
I hope the doc can give you something for your headache. That sounds nasty.
Awww, you want me to send you some movies from my Netflix?? :)
ok, that totally sucks about the kidney stones, surgery and most assuredly, the spinal headache. Been there, done that w/the headache after my c-section a million years ago and I can still remember the pain. I hope you feel better soon - ya know, just in time to give birth and feel like crap for the next 6 weeks LOL
I'll shut up now.
Oh, Jennifer! Will someone please give this poor girl a break? Get the drugs,get the drugs!
Ahhh I think you should take Toni up on her offer. lol
I hope that you found something good on TV to watch or found a good book to read.
I always joked about wanting to go on bedrest, until I had to...it sucks!!!!!!
Hang in there:)
Post a Comment