I Need to Work On My Lying Skillz, Just In Case
I spoke with Tate just a few hours ago. He had arrived in Knoxville for the retirement party he is attending.
"I miss you guys so much," he told me as he was getting off the phone. He even sounded sincere.
Really, I certainly appreciate the sentiment that he misses us. Let's be honest, though. He has a completely child-free evening ahead of him. There will be a catered dinner and free alcohol and he misses us?
I don't think so. 'Cause to be honest, if I were in his shoes, I wouldn't miss us at all. Not even a tiny bit. And I doubt I could even sound sincere when I lied and said "I miss you guys so much."
Maybe this makes me a shitty parent. But, the prospect of a child-free evening with friends, good food, and free drinks sounds pretty f*cking great. There isn't even a possibility of one of these luxury evenings anywhere in my future.
Just in case I were to get away for a child-free evening, afternoon, or even bathroom break, I probably need to practice doing my best impression of a doting and devoted Mom, desperately missing my little darlings.
I bet that I could do a better job lying after I got a few of those free drinks down me.
Labels:
Quirky Me
31 People are even more brilliant:
Let's try it and find out!! :D
I don't know...
It's like some parenting axis of evil. I'm happy to be away from them, but I do miss them too.
Last year the wife and child headed off to Sesame Place for the weekend leaving me home alone.
It is something I dreamed of for years. Just having the whole house to myself, nobody needing something when I was in the bathroom, yada yada yada.
But several hours in, I was missing my little one immensely. You'll never know how it will hit you, until you have the opportunity available to you. Until then, it just sounds like a sweet dream.
I understand needing that time. I dont get it enough, for SURE. In fact, I cant remember the last time!
And I would miss them a LITTLE. Because, after all, I wouldnt be gone all that long, most likely.
I think I'd have to lie, too. Because an entire night with no kids, free food and alcohol? Yeah, I wouldn't be thinking about the kids at all.
We both need a night out.
I'm with you. I wouldn't miss the family a bit. Hell, I'd even say I'd feel this way after a whole weekend. Any time away from two very loud kids, and household duties is a vacation for me!
I probably wouldn't even lie about it.
Bad mom, oh I'm a bad mom.
Own it baby, you're not alone!
I can't even use feminine products without the girls saying "Mommy, I hear candy wrappers!" I would probably spend an evening like that taking long bathroom breaks and not calling home, thus not being forced to lie! =)
Hmm, I think I would miss you- you are fun. And that's going to sound weird, but you know what I mean.
I find it hard to be missing them as well. Especially when I'm away from them for more than an hour or two. Last night dh was giving me a hard time that I didn't say goodnight to the boys (I went out and had a dinner alone and shopped) and I told him do not make me feel guilty for not missing them.
I think it's easy to miss them from a distance--like it's easy to be patient and understanding with them when they're sleeping.
Last night I said to Paul, "I wonder if I could get a job where I stayed in hotels a lot." Then I had to quickly cover it: "...um, with you, I mean! After we retire or something! Ha ha!"
Oh I have a lie for you and it'll work.
Don't call home at all and forgo the "I'm miss you guys so much" and tell Tate instead that the battery died on your cell phone.
You know I'm always good for coming up with a lie. AND I'm always good for free drinks. I think I qualify as a friend but I dunno, you got the cooking skillz. You may have to provide the good food.
You're not a shitty parent. You're a REAL parent.
I've had these thoughts quite often. When DH used to travel for work he would complain about how he couldn't sleep and other BS. I tuned him out. He has slept plenty of nights without listening to the kids cry....comfy in a hotel or wherever.
They don't get it.
no dice. I miss them as soon as I've closed their doors for the night.
Yesterday I opted to go help some friends move, in 95 degree heat, with a broken toe, because it gave me an excuse to leave my kids for a few hours. Add a catered dinner and free drinks, and I'm not sure I'd even come back, let alone lie convincingly.
Nope. Can't say that I'd be doing a lot of missin', either.
WTF The guys (with a few exceptions) have all the fun and we have to sit at home and watch the little heathen(s). DH says that it does't count being away from Aidan for work.
Does he not realize that I would LOVE to go to work just to have some adult conversation??
And even then he goes to softball 2 nights a week, teaches martial arts on 2 nights a week and one weekend morning...I stay at home. All day. Every day. No car to go anywhere. Everyone works so I don't even have anyone to call on the phone.
*tear*
Wanna know a secret? When Pickles was just under a year old, I really enjoyed going to my grandfather's funeral. I got out of the house for two nights, got to fly up to Chicago and spend time with my family, didn't have to get up at 6. Sure I missed them a little, but mostly I enjoyed it - a FUNERAL. How sad is that?!
Ok, did you read my blog yesterday... about the mother's retreat? You could Totally do that ;) 'SHel will be old enough by then. So will Zach. Heh.
Drunken new moms.. yay!
Ahh..peace in the house. I am so looking forward to the rain letting up even a smidge this morning because the lawyer and caveman are going to playcare, and the politician and I are taking a monster long nap after I pick up my crazy meds at the CVS, plus some Zantac, and maybe some benadryl. I swear to GOD-I am going to pump myself with medication so that whatever is bothering my stomach will GO AWAY. Oh-and I am going to drink copious amounts of coffee while doing so (note the denial in the previous statement).
Count me in on not missing my kids so much when they are gone..how many days til Grandma camp...TOO MANY! Love, QM
um, yeah. me too.
What's this about a drunken new mom's retreat and where do I sign up?
I'm a lightweight drinker but I'd be GLAD to get schnockered off a glass of wine with you.
Well then I'm a shitty parent too. I don't get out as often as I should so it's a little hard to miss the family that I can't wait to get away from. Then I come back recharged and excited to see them.
I think you need 2 DAYS AWAY to sincerely miss them- one day to play alone and relax- the 2nd to think- hmmm, now that I'm rested I miss them!!
Last year when we had a major city-wide black out in NY my husband couldn't get home. I blew up at him. "YOUR HAPPY THIS HAPPENED. You're going to hang out with your friends all night, drinking beer and not being here with us. In the dark. Eating cereal. You prick."
You can see why he loves me.
Oh, I've said it so many times. Okay, not "so many times" because there haven't been very many instances where I could say it. But still, my point is that it's very easy to say, but I don't mean it at. all.
I'm pretty sure I'd miss them, in theory. In practice, I'd be very S-L-O-W to go back home after my ultimate indulgence in alone-time.
It takes me 72 hours to miss her. I've been away from her for 72 hours twice.
My kids have been gone for 4 days now and I will say that I miss them a lot but not enough for them to come home tomorrow!
I found your blog recently and was just telling my husband about the funny name of it today :).
I realize this comment has nothing to do with your post, but evidently I'm not going to let that stop me from making it!
You crack me :)
I'll drink to that! When I get a rare, but much needed girl's night out or- ohmygosh- a weekend, I seem to be the only one not anxious to call home and in a panic missing my kids. I guess I can't call because the sincerity would be lacking.
Im terrible for it, a rare night out and think of nothing but the girls and how much i miss them. Hopefully you will get your "own" back soon with your own night out
Childless for a night....it just sounds SO GOOD....maybe one day...a mom can dream....
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