Hatin' on the Binky
My goal this week was to not moan on my blog about colic or acid reflux. And I'm not.
But I didn't make a goal not to be a binky hater.
Shel's pacifier is going to be the end of me. One minute it's our best friend, soothing and comforting her, lulling her to sleep. The next minute, all hell breaks loose.
All the pacifier is is a primitive (and rather ineffectual) mute button, providing temporary relief to us both.
She wants it...waaaaaaaaaaaaah, waaaaaaaaaaaaah, waaaaaaaaaaaaah!
She spits it out...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! WAAH, WAAH, WAAH, WAAH, WAAH, WAAH!
Then Shel wants it back....waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Wants it, hates it, wants it, hates it, wants it, hates it....
I've become her binky bitch.
She may only be seven weeks old, but I'm putting the kibosh on that f*cking pacifier.
I'll be systematically weaning her from the f*cker. I am nobody's binky bitch.
So far today..Binky 1,000, Jennifer 0
My cause isn't looking good. Not good at all.
Labels:
Little Monkeys,
Mommydom
33 People are even more brilliant:
I've often wished for a mute button, but both of mine were extremely offended by the binky for some reason. Good luck to you on that one!
The eternal love/hate relationship with binkies.
My eldest spit his out into the font at his christening. The priest blessed it too.
good luck. Woodrow took the binky from the womb and has yet to let go of it. Coupe wouldn't take it no matter how much I was pimping it to him.
I wrote on Finding yourself despite yourself... this morning that a phrase she used should be a blog name: Ill-timed fruit insults.
I would read it.
Now I want a new blog. Named "Binky Bitch." Seriously, someone start that blog. The banner alone would be worth it.
May the best (bitch) win!
Damn, I blogged about binkies today too!
We're mind-melded by our binky-totin tots, I tell ya.
I am so the Binkie Bitch at my house too. I seem to be the only person that my 8 week old will take it from and then blort it out and then frantically root for. Gah - good luck to you.
We loved our binky...but we gave it up easily too...
Good luck..Can I call you BB from now on?
I believe I may change my name on my blog to binky bitch, Janet! Great idea! Temporarily of course...I'm determine to win this battle.
My name is Ashley, and I am a Binky Bitch.
Ha ha ha... I used DS's as a plug for just as long as he would take it!
Lol...I know your pain. Good luck.
I jumped from being a binky bitch to a binky dealer, as I bought bout 20 of them and have them all over the house for S to get on his own. Although, I remember the time when he couldn't use his hands to get his fix.
I may have to find some sort of 12-step program to wean S off the binky, though, as he is no where near wanting to give it up!
Ha ha. Binky bitch. Brilliant. I have been debating about introducing the binky to my little monkey as right now I am a human pacifier. Does that make me a booby bitch?
Soothers sort of make me shudder. Not because I have anything against them, but because of what my husband's family calls them - "dumb tit". Have you ever heard anything nastier?
Andi, if it's a dumb tit, does that make me a dumb tit bitch? Ha!
I'm going to start calling you that from now on.
This post is AWESOME! I'm all a green from blog envy!
Those binkies are absolutely evil. I have a love/hate relationship with Cooper's. One day, they (all50 of them) will disappear.
Good luck BB!
HA! That's hilarious!
I know the feeling. O is about 11 (12?) weeks old and is the same way. CRY CRY CRY paci in, spit paci out, CRY CRY CRY. *sigh*
Ahhhh...the binky. That little piece of plastic that evokes such passionate reactions from moms, babies, and complete strangers. I had a take-it-or-leave-it kid who never missed a beat when the passy disappeared at 9 months. Then, there's my "challenging" child who will be 3 in a couple of months & I haven't even begun to try to suggest he might be able to live without it...although many a well-meaning (i.e. buttinski family member and lots of complete strangers have suggested that he should get rid of the thing. He will...before he goes to college. The binky is so not our worst issue right now!
Anyway, I'm a fan of whatever works...good luck to you and Shel!!!!
And you rock....I nominated you for an award--check it out!
LOL... I LOVE that you changed your profile name to "binky bitch". hilarious. At least you turn these tramautic mommy moments into some pretty funny stuff, so we all get to benefit!!
Ahh...the politican must have his binkies! We call them, "ninnies" from the lawyer's affair with them. The politician must have one in the mouth and one in his hand-carressing the nipple as he goes to sleep. The caveman chewed through all of his by six weeks so we opted out of ninnydom for him.
Loved your post. Queen of the shake-shake will have to move over and make room for my on her "so jealous" bench. Love, Queenie
Nothing is more humbling that being whipped by a piece of rubber/silicone and plastic. Here's to scoring some points in the next few days!
I suppose there are worse things to be bitch's of.
Of course, I can't think of them right now.
But.
Yeah.
Jennifer - OMG. I didn't even think of that new nickname when I mentioned the dumb tit. You shall forevermore be known by me as the "dumb tit bitch". Ha ha. So disturbing.
I know how you feel, although Mira is determined to not take a binky at all. What's worse is that I've purchased one of just about every brand made, hoping she might like one of them and I might get a little peace and quiet.
But after reading this, maybe no binky at all is better than serving as binky bitch.
All hail the Binky Bitch.
ALL HAIL!
Oh, I feel your pain. I am a total "binky bitch". At 11 months I desperatetly want to get Bubbie to give it up, but there are time I still give in.
It fustrate me when I am trying to rock him (while pacing the room) asleep and he repeatedly throws it on the floor.
That how I get my exercise, doing squats hold a 27 lb "cryin/cranky" baby.
I need to work on my lying skillz too. I'm with you! I would NOT be able to fake that one. I would be downing the mango margaritas with the quickness! :)
I always wished mine would take a binky...but no. One would have nothing to do with it....the other sucks her thumb, otherwise known as every orthodontist's dream. We have already started a braces savings fund!
Neither of mine liked binkies, which was fine by me. But unfortunately, I still catch my five year-old with her thumb in her mouth. And nothing successfully mutes my 2.5 year-old.
That said, I agree - I do enough bowing and fetching as it is. I am not a binky retriever.
Ugg Binkies, hate them . Think there vile horrible looking things - don't think my two year old will ever give them up . The 7 month old hated them and sucks her thumb - whats better? Well at least she never loses her thumb
I actually miss the binky. I was actually going to post about how much I miss it. I remember when putting the Princess to sleep was as easy as sticking the binky (a.k.a fire in my household) in her mouth and she was out like a light.
I've been a binky bitch since 2005. Is there a 12-step program for this...for the kids I mean?
Maybe we should organize a Binky Bitch Conference...you know...to leave our binky-worries and our binky-babies for a while...
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