Happy Halloween! Let's Talk About Poo
When I was pregnant with Carson, I signed up to receive email updates of the baby's development from BabyCenter. "Your baby is the size of a kumquat and weighs 3 grams! Only 9 gazillion days to go!" "Your baby should be able to recite the Ides of March by today. Your baby responds to music now and can dance a jig on your bladder!"
Once he was born, I continued to receive updates about what developmental milestones he should be reaching. "Your 3 month old should be rolling over and completing basic calculus now!" "At 14 months, your child is probably speaking in complex sentences, paragraphs really, and able to cook a souffle with little assistance in the kitchen!"
Carson has been two years old for all of three days and BabyCenter has proclaimed it's time to start potty training.
This is straight from the email:
"Happy birthday to your 2-year-old! Many 2-year-olds — girls especially — are ready to start potty training. If your child can pull her pants up and down, follow simple instructions, stay dry for three or four hours (a sign that her bladder muscles are developed enough to hold urine), and dislikes being in a dirty diaper, bring out the potty seat. If she's not ready, back off and try again in a month or two."
Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!
Carson is so not ready. SO not ready. Sure he can pull down his pants, but only when he up and decides, "hey, I think wearing only diaper would be more convenient as I lay on the floor and play with Thomas and Henry!" Staying dry? Um, no. Dislikes being in a dirty diaper? Haaa! Ha! Ha! Ha ha! Haaaaa! Yeah, uh, no. In fact, he is perfectly content sitting in his own filth for as long as it takes me to notice the stench. Even when he is clearly in the midst of going poop, he will deny that he is pooping with a furrowed brown accompanied by emphatic "NOOOOO!'s".
I could write an entire post detailing the alligator wrasslin' I go through just to change his diaper. I've become adept at wiping his bucking butt while getting very little poop on my hands. They should offer f*cking gold medals in Carson Diaper Changing. I'd totally get to stand on the platform and hear the national anthem.
Being completely unready for potty training does not have me worried, however. Scared to begin potty training, yes. Scared that Carson is clearly not ready, no. Am I just being naive? It seems to me that he's only just turned two, and I thought you just wanted kids potty trained by around three. Is that even right? And when we do start potty training, I don't even know where to begin.
I need an online "tootorial" to help me in the potty training department.
That was the worst joke ever.
My apologies.
Please enjoy this picture of Carson making some movie magic (a term Tate coined to describe pooping.) It's not my best photography work, but it makes me giggle anyhow.
[picture removed]
*****
PS. I've started deleting pictures of my kids from old posts. I've been getting lots of images.google searches that are starting to freak me out. I also signed up for photrade dot com so that I could get a watermark on the pictures to make them harder to steal. I hate that the watermark says something about purchasing the pictures, since they really aren't for sale. It would be creepy if someone wanted to buy one.
PSS. Happy Halloween! Carson is supposed to be Blue from Blue's Clues, but he RE. Fuse. Es. to put on the costume. So I guess he'll be a baseball player instead. Ella is going to be a pumpkin! A chubby, adorable, nummy nummy pumpkin. Pictures tomorrow fo' sho'.
PSSS. Today is also my Mom's birthday! Happy birthday, MOM!! Wish I could take you to lunch!
PSSSS. Also! (I'm almost done, swear to God, cross my heart) Eight years ago today, Tate and I became engaged! More on our fairytale romance (or hook-up really, not much romance. Sigh) during the month of November when I have to post every facking day for NaBloPoMo.
Labels:
Little Monkeys,
Pictures
52 People are even more brilliant:
I am still laughing about the potty training thing... BWA HA HA HAHAHA! That's why people rarely sign up for their stupid updates a second time around.
You so funny today.
Happy Birthday to the madre, and happy engagement anniversary to you two!
Can't wait to see your lil punkin and baseball star. We have to figure something out since when we tried on LM's 6-12 mo costume this w/e, it wouldn't even go over his head (granted, he DOES have a very large head). hmm...
I told a girlfriend at work just yesterday that I'm anticipating Ivan not being ready to P. Train until he's 3. And then if it happens sooner, I'll be pleasantly surprised ;)
-HH
Can't wait to see the pics of yer lil punkin'.
My little guy will be three in 10 days and he could care less about going in the potty. Sometimes I wonder if the people who write that crap even have kids.
Now you have me paranoid about all of my kids' pics that I've posted. Maybe I better remove some of the old ones.
BabyCenter is whacked in the head.
Unsubscribe and do it NOW!
I swear all of these fracking parenting books, magazines, websites and email lists are why we are so fracking obsessed with developmental milestones and our kids reaching them at the oh-so-normal time.
Ah yes I have my gold medal of poo diaper changes somewhere. I am quite proud that I can wipe poo in just about any position possible.
Did you notice on the little memo you got that they said "She" is probably ready to potty train. That was your hint right there. :)
I agree with Heather, Babycenter is WHACK! The emails will make you question your parenting skills and if you are like me, your pediatrician will tell you that you are crazy when you come in teary-eyed because your 8 month old can't yet make you a hot dog and you are sure it is because you took that Tylenol Cold medicine while 6 months pregnant.
Potty training - we started Peanut (girl) around 18 months. By started I mean we bought a little plastic potty and put it in the bathroom. She liked to sit on it (fully clothed) while Mama sat on the big potty. I have to imagine that BusterBrown is going to be more difficult and I'm going to wait until he's 3, probably.
Ha ha! I don't even think about potty-training until age 3. I think if my 2-year-olds took off their own pants and sat on the potty, I might be like, "Oh, no honey, don't do that."
Okay, not really. But I don't think about potty-training before age 3, unless the kid shows interest, and none of my kids have shown interest.
Caden pee'd on the toilet like 3 times this summer. He turned two in Msy. Since then he's totally regressed. He probably won't train until he's 3 or so. We are ok with that.
He's also a complete nightmare for diaper changing. Plus my kid strips. The kid takes his clothes off as soon as we walk in the door. We have to put him in pajamas backwards so that he doesn't strip down.
I also bought several costumes that he refused to wear. We are doing the Old Navy pirate for him, because it kinda looks like normal clothes.
I can't wait to see your pics tommorrow!!!
I've always heard that boys are much harder to potty train than girls. Now that Little Elvis can pull to standing, getting him dressed has become a great workout! Can't wait to see your pics!
The only ones who get trained are the parents. My boys all took their time. I suggested the concept to my middle guy a few times and he just wasn't biting, so I backed off. Then one day when he was 3 and 3/4 he came into my room and announced he would no longer be wearing diapers. He was standing up and peeing in the toilet by the end of the day and had relatively few accidents.
For me, it's just not worth the stress. For me.
Happy Halloween!!
Ethan peed on the potty 3 times this summer, too, and has since just not cared about the whole potty thing. He's now 3y and 3m old. He could really care less if he's wet and if we ask him if he's pooped, while our eyes water from the stench that is uniquely his, he'll pat his little diaper and say "no poop!" and then we call him over and check and sure enough... Ahh denial.
I've read that 90% of kids are potty trained by 3. I think that's a lie. I've also read message boards where a large number of the kids (even more with boys) aren't potty trained until 3.5yrs so I wouldn't worry about Carson. It'll happen when it does, and if you wait til he's *really* really ready, it'll be that much faster and easier.
Pull-eazze! Starting at 2 not. That would most likely be an exercise in frustration. Good for you for not succumbing . I wonder how many other parents have gotten frustrated all to hell by starting because they were told to and not because their child showed readiness signs....and yeah very creepy thing about the image search. Creepy indeed!
Hey, I am one of those parents that had their kids potty trained at 2 years (+ or - a couple of weeks).
I never ever once pushed them or forced them to sit on the potty. I waited for that one moment - where they volunteer to sit on the potty for the very first time and go. Most parents praise their kid and wait for the next time they go and sometimes it doesn't happen.
I thought that this moment was magical (the first time they sat on the potty)- and I ran with it and did not look back. It was not stressful. It did take some time. But, I was a stay at home mom and I did just that during potty training - I stayed at home for a week. We got underwear, we had accidents, I praised every time we were dry. My son was late at crawling, walking, and talking - we even held him back fron attending kindergarten this year - but he was completely potty trained at 2 years and 2 months. We just praised him all the time, and from that first magical moment he never wore another diaper. Once you start - you need to finish (regardless of what age you start training).
2 kids trained at 2 years saved me hundreds of hundreds of dollars. Yes, it took some time. Yes, we had accidents. No it was not stressful. The rest of the world is diaper trained earlier than us due to the expense of diapers. We have money - that is why we wait.
My suggestions: Never EVER start pull-ups. Go out and buy a potty chair and don't explain it too much - kids are super smart - see what he uses it for (that will make for a good blog entry).Wait for that FIRST time and see what feels right for your own child. In the meantime - cancel your BABYCENTER emails - it is so stressful.
Please no hate mail from any mother's of 5 year olds in pull-ups. What works for me might not for you.
Eh, depends on where you live- the Brits I know have 'em trained by 8 mos, if by trained you mean YOU remember to stick the kid on the pot at EXACTLY the right time from 6 mos to 4 yrs !
2 was the usual age for the U.S. but that was when 80% of moms were home ALL DAY.
They did not have to argue with daycare on methods, did not have errands to run nor places to be (nor lives...)
Sitting home all day every day , no minivan no life ?
Heck, I'm sure most moms were so bored ALL kids were potty trained by 2- gave mom something to DO!
I have 3 kids. 1 trained in a few hours with the toilet training in less than a day method.
1 took several months.
One of them took a LOT longer and is still not dry at night.....
Kids vary. Throw out the advice and just be.
Two? Potty training at TWO? Cindy-Lu will be three at the end of this year and she is still in diapers. And I kinda like it that way...so much easier to wipe a butt than clean poop out of my rug, I always say. ;) Why I always say that you do not want to know, but it has to do with poop. In my rug.
My daughter is about to turn three and the truth is that I am the one that is not ready for potty training. What are some of the signs for that? Your child has some gorgeous eyes on him, by the way.
I SO could have written this post about my firstborn (except that I wouldn't have been nearly as funny). My secondborn potty trained himself at 16 months. Seriously. They are all SO different.
One day when my firstborn was 18 months old and I was FED UP with wrestling him to the ground and listening to his screams every day, I decided to see how long he would sit in his poop before volunteering for a change. He stayed in that dang thing ALL FRICKIN DAY. By the end of the day, it was so painful that he wouldn't sit down any more. And he STILL screamed at me when I finally wore down and wrestled him to the ground to change it. There were welts the size of dimes on his bottom. I felt like the worst mom ever. But he didn't care. Sheesh. And as for the cost of diapers--he was in cloth, so it didn't really cost me much except the hassle. He is now six and a half and still has trouble staying dry at night.
The other one, however, HATED to be wet. From a very early age, he would wait to pee until I was changing his diaper. It became habitual to hold his dry diaper over his privates and wait for him to pee at each diaper change. One day it occurred to me to set him on the potty instead. He peed in it. We never looked back. I was extremely lucky. He still gets very upset if a tiny bit of errant pee hits his skin instead of the potty.
So, I don't buy any "one-size-fits-all" method. Everyone has to do what works for them, and ignore those silly automated updates. They are meaningless.
Nice picture...and Happy Birthday, Mom!!!!!
Potty training was hell for me. Mostly because I tried to do the twins at the same time and my son was NOT ready but my daughter was.
What a dummy.
The only good thing about potty training is getting it over with.
June and July of this year? Pure hell. But we are now 99% potty trained and damn, is it wonderful!!
I guess it's kind of like no pain, no gain, but with kids and poop.
My ped said unless they show REAL interest, not to sweat it till they're 3. He'll get it.
The costume thing is funny. Hope he'll at least be a baseball player.
My ped said unless they show REAL interest, not to sweat it till they're 3. He'll get it.
The costume thing is funny. Hope he'll at least be a baseball player.
My ped said unless they show REAL interest, not to sweat it till they're 3. He'll get it.
The costume thing is funny. Hope he'll at least be a baseball player.
My ped said unless they show REAL interest, not to sweat it till they're 3. He'll get it.
The costume thing is funny. Hope he'll at least be a baseball player.
Some kids actually like the feeling of diapers, the extra padding. It may sound crazy but it's a sensory thing.
As for just buying a potty and waiting until they try it on their own, sure for some people that happens in a few weeks or months. For others it can take years before the child is ready to try it. The whole "just have it there" thing wasn't too effective for us.
SB is mostly potty trained but still wears a pull up to bed and often wakes up with a poop in it. He'll be 7 in a few months.
While I'm happy for the parents who train their kids by 2 or 3, it's just not realistic for some of our kids.
eClaire REFUSES to put on her adorable dragon costume also! Grr. Damn kids, why won't they just do what we want them to do??
happy halloween.
hope you enjoyed it.
cute pic of carson, no matter what he's doing!
happy halloween.
hope you enjoyed it.
cute pic of carson, no matter what he's doing!
Yeah. Q nearly potty trained when he was 2.5 then thought better of it. He'll be 3 in 1 month and just PTed. Gimme an f*ing break, Babycenter! Way to make me feel like a slacker mom.
Those emails are so obnoxious...
I'm sure it's also telling you that Ella better be sleeping through the night already or she'll be a crackwhore on Commercial street by age 7. Good for you for blowing off information you think is irrelevant.
NEITHER of my sons were anywhere near ready at 2 years old!
You mean he isn't potty trained yet? Honestly, what have you been doing?
T.
(seriously - ridiculous)
alligator wrasslin'
HAHAHAHA!
Also.
My One Year Old, to my HUGE amazement, in the past month had begun coming to me and going,"uhh!" whenever he has a turd on board. I am baffled. He must be destined for OCD.
Although, I'm entirely sure that the minute I try to start potty training him sometime in the distant future, he'll become the world's worst slob, sitting in Fecal Heaven until it leaks out his eyes.
Developmental Update....or "What can you expect of your Baby Center marketing department now?"
In the 24-36th month of e-mails, you'll notice some distinct changes in your marketing department. While they are able to sit up, type in complete sentences, and maybe even hold down a steady job, they still may not be able to connect real concepts to their words. There is a lot of fantasy play at this stage of marketing. You may also notice some bullying that occurs from an inability accept the experiences of the real world arround them.
You get the idea - they can suck it. Each kid is different, and i don't know any second children who were trained before 3.
Having 3 boys I can say they will go when they are ready. 3 days
after my oldest son's 2nd birthday he said NO more diapers. He never had an accident. Noah (the middle child) was 3 before he showed any interest. I say hold off, when he is ready he will go. Have you ever seen a kid in college not potty trained? HA HA!! Happy Halloween!!!
Just after my baby was born she told me I should start potty training him at six months.
What??!
He'll let me know when he's ready...
Yes, I stopped subscribing to the weekly updates at two as well. Potty training is for the birds.
Before I unsubscribed, I hadn't read them since he was an infant anyway. The milestones seem so outlandish and always made me question his development.
Carter's now 27 months and the closest we've come to potty training is having a potty in the bathroom which has been peed in once in about 4 months. What-ev.
My son is now 14 and he goes to school in big boy undies. Don't let the media pressure get to you and don't let Susie Q's little prodigy who was potty trained at 6 months get to you. They poop in the pot when they're good and ready!!!
I didn't read all the replies but don't worry about potty training. We got Babyhead a potty when he was 18 months and let him play with it to get used to it. Then we bought him antother potty (one where the pee guard is built in and won't fall off like the other one) and we keep it in the hallway for him.
At first he was really interested in what we were doing in the bathroom and we made a big show of going potty ourselves. Then he saw DH go pee and decided that would be cool. For the past year he has been going peepee on and off...sometimes for a whole day then maybe not again for weeks...but the potty is there when he wants to use it.
It seems to be working as he wants to go potty AFTER he has already peed his diaper...but it is a start!
Anyway, that is what we do. I am going to get him some Cars undies for Christmas and we may start actively trying to train him after his THIRD bday.
;-)
I have two boys. I fell into the Baby Center trap and started "training" the first one right at two. It was hell. I'll keep it short and just say that he wasn't ready at all until right at three. Have never made an attempt with younger one who will be three in Jan. Last weekend. he asked to poop in the potty and that was kind of neat. I still don't try with him though. If he asks, I let him, if not, no biggie. I wouldn't stress AT ALL about it until three. I learned my lesson.
BabyCenter gets annoying. After Zachariah turned 1, I stopped paying attention...mostly. And people are WAY too opinionated about potty training. I think it just depends on the individual kid. I had asked my pediatrician about starting my son when he turned 1. She practically told me I was nuts. It's not like I was going to do it that minute, but I wanted advice on how to start. We haven't officially started, but he has pooped in the potty...once. He shows a few signs of readiness, but nothing to push. Still, most people think I'm nuts for even suggesting it now (he's 19 months).
I think you'll know when it's time for your son. Also, we do the knock down, drag out, diaper changes here too. He doesn't want his dirty diaper, but he doesn't want to hold still for me to change it. Silly boy!
Yeah, once I started getting those developmental competition feelings...I deleted my BabyCenter account...who needs that?
Happy Birthday Mom.
Dewd! Don't rush it. When he's ready, you'll know. And I know many kids who haven't been ready until they're 3.
I think a "tooturial" is hilarious!!!
Don't even try to pottytrain until he shows interest. It would be worse for both of you.
Do you mean that people are stealing your pictures or printing them off? What's going on because you have me freaked out now too. Deleting from old posts is a great idea. I think I may do that too!
I have to agree, I thought that 'tootorial' was pretty funny. I am very easily amused.
Garrett turned three and STILL doesn't mind being dirty. He might still be wearing pull ups in college...
Dam I hate the thing on the pictures everywhere, but I totally understand why you'd need to do it. And I swear I only wanted to steal that baseball player shot above.
Kidding, truly kidding. :)
On the potty training...oh boy that's a big one. I worked in a three year old preschool class for a few years. Boys in the class weren't potty trained, girls generally were. When you get to that point, I'll give you some pointers if you need them. Truly though, I'd give him 6 months before I'd even buy a chair.
so i'm the worst potty-trainer ever. my kids were 3 & 4 before they potty trained, and they were the ones that did it... which is the way i think it should be. you could sit him on a toilet all day long every day until he gets it... but that is potty training you, not him. i offer it to my kids with every diaper change. with every poop change i gently remind them that poop goes in toilets. and then i wait for them to do it on their own. yes, i was changing diapers longer than most parents. but i also wasn't cleaning up poop-smeared walls... blech!
my two year old, actually seems ready. she takes herself to the potty very regularly. but i don't believe that's common!
Ironflower will be three soon. She has finally started to manifest some interest in potty training. Let me just say three words: Put it off.
Also, I'm so glad that my son isn't the only one who refused to wear the costume HE picked out (Thomas the Tank Engine) and had to go as an athlete.
Gee i hate the whole - she is how old and still in nappies? , Becs will be 2 1/2 next month and we have still not even started. She is only starting to show signs and you know what im not in any hurry, toilet training is a pain. Im sure Carson will tell you when he is ready
if there's one thing i've learned, it's that every kid has their own timing for potty training.
we tried Zander a couple of months after he turned 2 years old. he did pee in the potty a few times...after he'd sat on it for 30 minutes while watching TV! but the novelty wore off, and now he doesn't want to have anything to do with it.
meanwhile Zander's friend Greyson, who is 4 months younger, is using the potty on a regular basis.
it's hard not to feel pressure as a parent...but we just have to go with what is natural for your kids.
oh, and Zander might be getting closer to being ready for the potty, but he is certainly not staying dry for hours at a time!
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