High Koo Fry Day

Christina from A Mommy Story had a great idea to designate Fridays as Haiku Day. Since everyone seems to drop off the planet on Fridays, I thought this was a fabulous idea. I mean, why waste my Pulitzer Prize worthy posts on a Friday? Heh.

For those of you unfamiliar with Haiku, it's a seventeen syllable poem, consisting of three lines:

5 syllables

7 syllables

5 syllables

***********

Enjoy these Haiku

If you don't, I will find you

And fart in your face

************

It's that time again

College Football has started

Beer drinking excuse!

************

Grocery Shopping

It's nearly impossible

With a screaming kid

************

I love Alton Brown

His cooking skillz make me hot

Don't tell Tate, m'kay?

************

Haiku Friday, Yeah!

Don't you want to play along?

Oh come on! Join us!

Really! Play along! Either leave a haiku in the comments or post one (or twelve, whatever you want) and let me know and I'll post your link here! Email me at playgroupie (at) gmail (dot) com.

Mayberry's Arachnophobia Haiku

Cate's naptime Haiku

Blue Momma's Poopy Haiku

Yertle's Day in Haiku

Attention Thinking Blog Award Bestowers! This is the Post for You...

I mentioned in yesterday's post that my writing doesn't fit in the genre of "thinking blog." Please accept the following crap as evidence.


I've made it no secret that I enjoy the children's program Blue's Clues. My favorite, and I believe most people's favorite host is Steve. It was a sad, sad day when Steve went off to college and was replaced by creepy Joe. Peanut is happy to watch Blue's Clues, as well, although he is oblivious to whether the host of the show is Steve or creepy Joe.

Have any of you watched the newer spin-off of Blue's Clues, Blue's Room? Well, to put it mildly, this show is the biggest piece of shit show ever produced. It's horrible. It's mind numbing. It's the worst show on TV, next to CSI: Miami with that vomit-inducing David Caruso.

The producers, writers, and directors of this show should be ashamed of themselves and possibly even jailed on charges of criminal negligence. The character of Blue, who can now talk thanks to this horrendous show, is so irritating. Worse is the character of Sprinkles, Blue's baby brother. I feel like severing my auditory nerve every time I hear his whiny little voice. And creepy Joe? He must be mortified to walk around in public. His part in the show, as a supporting actor to PUPPETS, must haunt him.

I certainly wouldn't want to offend any children who actually are fans of this show. Peanut is not a fan of the show as I've learned now for several mornings in a row. Nick Jr. has been playing new episodes (the horror!) at 9am, when I shower. Usually, he sits quietly in his pack-n-play while I shower. The past several mornings I've heard him crying while I was in the shower. I blame you damn Blue's Room for my abbreviated showering routine (I'm shaking my fist and scowling angrily).

As for the title of this blog, please understand that I'm making fun of myself for feeling the need to blog about a most inane subject. Most of my post subjects are inane, but I've reached an all-time low here. Thinking blogger, I am not.

It's the End of the Book as We Know It

Welcome back for my final installment of the blogging book-a-long on 1-2-3 Magic by Dr. Thomas Phelan.

The final section of this book is all about how to strengthen your relationship with your child(ren). Self-esteem, overparenting, affection, praise, listening, and one-on-one time are all discussed.

I really liked that Dr. Phelan reminded me that self-esteem is "a by-product of a life well-lived." This means that self-esteem comes from social, work, physical, and character competence. And you can't have these competentencies with an obnoxious, misbehaving kiddo. So I guess one "reward" for the hard work we as parents put into raising our children with discipline is a well-adjusted, happy child.

The chapter on overparenting made me laugh, uncomfortably, because I completely saw myself saying and doing some of the things he discussed. Overparenting is pointing out the obvious to our kids, not letting them work out problems independently, and making issues out of "trivial" issues.

Dr. Phelan also reminded us parents of the utmost importance of doling out affection and praise. Instead of only pointing out negatives, we should make every effort to also point out and praise the positives. Sounds easy enough, but in a day bogged down with nagging, meal prep, diaper changes, and everythingelsemothersdoonadailybasis, we tend to forget to say the good things. I will try my best NOT to forget this advice.

I think this book is a great read and full of great advice. I don't think it's implementation will be easy, Dr. Phelan never said that it was. The no talking/no emotion rule is a toughy. The consistency will be difficult to maintain. However, for my sanity and my child(ren)'s well-being I think it will be worth it.

Thanks again to Kristen at The Mom Trap for suggesting this blogging book-a-long. The next book is Protecting the Gift. I think I'll participate in this one, too. It's about keeping our kids safe. I can't even watch news segments or read anything about a child being hurt, or read Parents magazine, but I'll give this book a shot. I think this is a MUST READ.

The Good Behavior

Apparently we've been schooled enough on counting out our children. Dr. Phelan feels that it's time for us parents to move on...to dealing with behaviors we want our little darlings to start doing. Part IV of 1-2-3 Magic gives seven strategies for encouraging good behavior.

Here's the strategies:

1. Positive Reinforcement (Catch kids being good, verbally praise kids...)
2. Simple Requests (Don't go into long, drawn out requests, keep tone of voice even)
3. Kitchen Timers (It's like a game of Beat the Clock, especially useful with younger kids)
4. The Docking System (Loss of Allowance)
5. Natural Consequences (Well, it's just allowing natural consequences of the kid's action be the motivator, duh!)
6. Charting (Keeping track of successful completion of desired behavior)
7. Counting for Brief Start Behavior (Only used for "start" behaviors that take no more than two minutes)

The remaining chapters discuss specific strategies and situations relating to getting out of bed and ready to go in the mornings, chore completion, making mealtimes more successful (even with picky eaters), homework completion, and bedtime battles and middle of the night waking. The tips and strategies described seem very straight forward and logical. I will definitely try and remember these as Peanut gets older.

For information on the previous three parts of this book, go here, here, and here.

On a sidenote, I've been using a modified version of "counting", as Peanut is only 16 months old. It has drastically reduced the red handprints on my face.

This blogging book-a-long was brought to you today with The Mom Trap's very own Kristen and several other bloggers. Check out The Mom Trap for their links!

With Children Like These...

La, la, la...I can't hear you! My fingers are in my ears! I'm not listening!

Part III of 1-2-3 Magic has me a little freaked. See, I've been so focused on the here and now (tantrums and hitting) that I've completely ignored what's to come. Children can be sassy, back-talking, hooligans!

Yes, I already knew this, thankyouverymuch. It's just that I was blocking it out. Deleting it from my brain files.

This section of the book focused on the different methods our little darlings use to test and manipulate us. Apparently, there are six different ways including Badgering, Temper (Intimidation), Threat, Martyrdom, Butter Up, and Physical Tactics. Children use what works, meaning what has been successful in getting them what they want in the past. They also use the tactics that "get to" us. This is where the whole "no talking/no emotion" rule really comes into play.

Dr. Phelan explained that this testing and manipulation can be managed using the counting method. He warned us parents to expect our children to be very savvy and switch their usual tactics on us when they aren't getting their way. Oh, I can't wait.

There was also a chapter on how to deal with more serious offenses like lying, stealing, property damage, or even smoking. I could hardly read this chapter without developing a severe case of non-pregnancy related heartburn. Dr. Phelan did say that not all parents would have to deal with these sorts of things and I've got every finger, toe, and hair crossed, praying that I'm one of those parents.

This parenting business is relentless. I guess I should thank Kristen over at The Mom Trap for suggesting this book and reminding me of all the joys that await!

Can We Use This On Our Husbands?

I feel like I'm in 4th grade writing a book report. I'll try to be a little more interesting than I was in the 4th grade.

Thanks again to Kristen from The Mom Trap for suggesting this blogging book-a-long. I'm really enjoying 1-2-3 Magic by Dr. Thomas Phelan. This is seriously one of the easiest reading parenting books I've read. For a review of Part I of the book go here.

This approach to discipline is so incredibly simple that I am somewhat skeptical about how well it would work on some kids. Part II of the book described the procedures for stopping behaviors such as tantrums, fighting, and arguing. His procedure uses counting to three to gain control. The most important thing and the "trick" of getting counting to work is in the "no talking/no emotion" rule. This means that when counting out a child, the parent is to NOT talk and show NO emotion. This will be a hard, hard, hard thing for me (and I suspect, most parents) to do. The purpose of this is to not engage in playing into our children's tantrums and exacerbate the issue with arguing.

Dr. Phelan explained that when there is a behavior to stop, you count to one, then two if the behavior continues, and finally to three if needed. At three, the child goes to time out or loses a privilege. After the time out period ends (one minute for each year of age), there is no lecture or mention of the misbehavior. Wow! Again, I think this will be really difficult, but I definitely see the benefits of not continuing the fight. After a short time, Dr. Phelan explained that most parents can gain control by just counting to one or two.

One thing that I find to be terrific about this approach is in it's consistency. This counting method is recommended for use at home, in public, in front of company, and for use by others (grandparents, babysitters, teachers). I also really like that this method is meant to be an alternative to spanking. Dr. Phelan stated that 99% of all spankings are parental temper tantrums. Personally, I don't want to throw a temper tantrum and end up spanking my children. Finally, the book has an entire chapter where 20 "what ifs" about this approach are answered.

I mentioned my skepticism. It seems unlikely to me, that this would really work on anyone younger than five or six. For older children, I can absolutely see this method working like a charm. I'm really curious to hear from others their experiences with younger kiddos. I also question Dr. Phelan's time out environment which he says is oftentimes the child's room. He stated that as long as there is no electronic entertainment or access to friends in the room, then it's okay for the the child to go in there room and play during time out. In my mind, I've always thought of the time out spot as being someplace undesirable. Even with these questions, I will definitely try out this technique when my son is older.

I have just a few more questions...Can we use this technique for our husbands? Do you think it would work to curb their obnoxious behavior?! Do I get an A on my book report?

1-2-3 Magic...The First Discussion! (The Day You've all Been Waiting For!!!)

I couldn't have checked out my reserved copy of 1-2-3 Magic on a better day. This was a particularly bad day with my 15 month old son, Peanut. He's already showing signs of the terrible twos and it's painfully obvious that I'm completely unprepared. Unprepared, as in standing and staring at him open-mouthed, trying not to laugh or cry.

Before becoming a SAHM, I worked as a Speech-Language Pathologist. I've worked with some pretty tough kiddos (ADHD, autistic, Oppositional Defiant, JPU (just plain unruly)). Through many an inservice, conference, and on-the-job experiences, I've learned A LOT about behavior management. Naively, I came into this parenting gig thinking that behavior was going to be an area at which I would excel. Turns out that comparing behavior management for your students and that of your own child is like comparing apples and orangutans.

I had several reasons as to why I wanted to be a part of this blogging book-a-long. First, all of my "expertise" is with children age three and up. My little darling is 15 months old is already giving me a run for my money. Also, when I was working, I never had to deal with any one student for longer than one hour at a time, so I have no experience with ALL DAY LONG behavior issues. Fear is another HUGE motivation for reading this book. I DO NOT want Super Nanny showing up to my house and making me look like a fool on national TV. Finally, I'm expecting another baby in May and I'm positive that after the new arrival, it will be impossible for me to have time for reading anything besides "Goodnight Moon."

So blah, blah, blah, get to the review already! Here goes...The best part about the book so far (the first 4 chapters) is that it is so easy to read and understand. It is written in layman's terms, which is helpful since I'm suffering from a wicked case of pregnancy brain. The book discusses the different types of behavior to modify, behaviors to stop (tantrums..yes please!) and those behaviors we'd like to see start (doing homework...a much later worry for me). I'm interested to read the following chapters where the actual "magic" ways to implement this discipline system are discussed.

One notable point that was made in these introductory chapters, was that it's important to remember that children are not little adults. When we try to reason and offer lengthy explanations for why their behavior should stop, we are doing nothing to help the situation. Hmmm, maybe that's why when I've found myself explaining to my 15 month old how why Mommy doesn't wish to be hit in the face, I'm not seeing any behavior improvement. Actually, he had just been acting worse. In public. At home. In the car. EVERYWHERE!!!!

Finally, the most important thing that I learned was that our emotional reactions to our child's behavior can just act to encourage more of that behavior. I've already tried NOT reacting when I get my daily smacks in the face and have in just two days seen some improvement. I guess that when I don't get riled, I'm not as exciting to hit (yay!!!!!)

This book does say that it is meant for children 2-12. And yes I realize my son isn't two yet, however, it's worth the read just to see the results so far. I suspect that much of the information in the upcoming chapters will be a bit beyond my current reality. Doesn't mean that I can be an overachiever and be prepared for the battle ahead. Stay tuned!

Thanks Kristen from the Mom Trap, for giving me the opportunity to participate in this blogging book-a-long!

1-2-3 Magic...A Book Discussion

Kristen from the Mom Trap, Motherhood Uncensored, and Cool Mom Picks has had a great idea to read and discuss the "discipline" book 1-2-3 Magic. We (as in several other bloggers and me) will be doing a blogging book-a-long.

More to come...