The Night the Vandals Attacked, Tee Hee
My neighbors (not the ones with a raging case of the CRAZIES, the kitty neglecters...more on that another time) got toilet papered last night. They have a thirteen year old daughter and I suspect she made the cheerleading squad. So, naturally, this is her way to be welcomed into the cheerleaders' clique.
I was never cool enough to get TPed. Had I ever been TPed, my Dad would have probably had a coronary. He's a stickler for a pristine yard. Too bad that didn't rub off on me. Even with the threat of lots of cussing and yelling, I'd have loved to have been TPed just once!
Apparently, I was never cool enough to actually succeed at TPing, either. Twice, I got talked into going, but a true, vandalization never actually occurred. The first time, we only took one roll of toilet paper. I know, what kind of dorks take ONE roll? We were afraid to take more, because her parents would notice the missing TP. And it's not like a liquor bottle that you can just fill up with a little water to make up for the missing amount. Really, nothing can "replace" missing toilet paper, except for, well, TOILET PAPER.
The second time I attempted to TP someone, I ended up running into an exposed bolt on the side of a meter and got a giant gash on my shin. I had to make up some lie about why there was a gaping wound on my leg...something about playing hide and seek in the dark. Yeah Mom, at 15 I spent lots of time playing hide and seek.
Although, I never actually succeeded in TPing, I was a very accomplished vandal. When I was in about 5th grade, my friend and I would go up to the little grocery store down the street from our house. On the syrup aisle, we'd pour syrup all over the shelves and put the syrup bottles over our mess. Nowadays, they have a protective plastic cover, so we wouldn't be able to do this one anymore. I like to think that we had a little something to do with the advent of the little plastic cover. At least I can say I've accomplished something in life.
Another of our favorites was to go to the glue aisle. You can guess what we did. For years afterwards, there were still bottles of glue stuck to the shelf. Oh my, how hilarious we thought we were.
We were also masters at prank calling people. I feel sad for the poor old lady at 887-SHIT. We tormented that poor woman. QVC was yet another victim of our prank calls. The operators would answer our endless, ridiculous questions about the diamonique ring with Kenyan sapphires and 18 karat gold. We always asked if we could talk to the host of the show on TV, but they never let us. Wonder why?
Peanut and Petunia will obviously never pull childish pranks like these. I possess superior mothering skills and no child of mine would ever do the things I did. HA, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh it hurts.
What pranks did you pull as a kid? And don't say you didn't. Of course you did.
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Quirky Me
23 People are even more brilliant:
Remember the 'old school' library cards before scanners were used? I switched the check-out cards from random books. The lazy loud mouth librarian at my elementary school always yelled at us for no reason during our library time. She didn't double check the books when the kids would check them out and sign their name. She ended up having a group of cards that did not match the books checked out. She was so mad when she finally realized what was happening. She placed signs all over the library to STOP. Did I..... :-)
I forgot about that doing the same thing, Shannon! Great minds think alike!!!!
I am glad that I am not the only one who tried to TP houses with one roll. We did it too, Jennifer! ;) We were dorks! lol
We used to get out the phone book and call numbers..ask for the husband. When the wife asked who we were...we made up some name saying that we met him the night before. There were some unhappy ladies! We did that in high school. Half of the time, we hung up the phone because we were giggling so hard.
I was quite the accomplished TP'er. We used to do it with our softball team, and I remember my dad giving me "tips" on how not to get caught. I did so much 'bad stuff' that I don't even know where to start.
I never got TP'd either. And I never TP'd anyone...But I did steal the freshly delivered bagels from the back door of the deli when we used to pull all nighters cruising in our car. It was so much fun.
They were delivered at around 3am and we'd wait in the car for the truck to leave...then we'd swipe 'em. Classic fun.
This post brings back so many "OMG I hope my kids never do that" memories for me. I really do love my parents in a whole new way and often wonder "how did they do it?"
...we used to go pool jumping house to house,TPing til the cops were called and we'd all run, and egging cars parked at the beach while people were making out in them--Oh,if s/o did that to me in my new minivan now--ooo! You know we are spending so much time making out in that hot car--LMAO!! :)
We used to make stink bombs and then we would climb on the roof of a vacant house in our neighborhood and throw them at cars. Of course we weren't smart enough to realize you couldn't make this a Friday night ritual! After the 3rd week, there was a cop car sitting outside the house.
I never TP'd. Ever! Especially as a 24 year old adult! snort.
In 5th grade, the girls got to go to the bathroom in groups after PE. We would take wads of TP, wet it in the sink, then throw them on the ceiling where they stuck like globs. Hahahahaha!
I prank called too. Didn't everyone?
I've never been TP'd or have ever done it. Seems like too much work. My best adult prank was after a block party a neighbor and I put a hideous wire archway that was used at the party on another neighbor's front porch. We felt like little kids. Laughing so hard that we peed our pants. The archway made it's rounds in our neighborhood for quite some time until some fuddy duddy stopped it.
oh boy... I remember TPing people's houses... and occasionally getting caught. Then it happened to my house and my parents gave me the "honor" of cleaning it up. Ugh.. what a pain!
I still feel bad! We prank called a girl, who was previously our friend, and told her that we were calling from AA regarding her dad's drinking problem.... ya, I was a little b**ch at times.... Thank goodness for caller ID now!
Oh, my younger bro and I were totally about the prank calls. Until we very nearly got the police called.
Then we stopped. For good.
(But it was delicious, peeing-pants fun until it ended...)
I think the worst I ever did was prank call people. I had a VERY healthy Catholic guilty conscience. I was a fraidy-cat too!
let's se...
Tped - check.
Egged - check.
Burining bag-o-shit - check.
Honestly, I never did anything. My brother is three years younger and growing up was ALWAYS doing horrible stuff when I was babysitting. He used to call 911 and make up fake situations (ie. an elephant was sitting on him, he had just fought a tiger and needed stitches etc.). Finally they called back and got mad at me. I was too scared to ever do anything. So lame, I know.
Does moving a blinking road block sign count? Just wondering ... not that I'd ever have done that ...
Oh yeah, maxi-padding a house is much more fun - and dangerous - than TPing ...
Ash
My friends and I used to TP people, like, every weekend. We were careful enough and spread it around town enough that we never got caught. I'm pretty sure our parents knew what we were up to, but I guess they figured if that was the worst we were doing to let it go.
I never did awesome, creative pranks, but I had friends who did. One of them had recently transferred from a very strict private school that he held a bit of bitterness towards, and one night he snuck into the school (don't ask me how) and blew up a toilet. He also super glued the locks of our school doors one day.
here's the trick... You go buy the cheapest tp from the dollar store but you buy a case of it. I mean the whole big box. You empty the trunk of your 1912 Toyota Celica of all the term paper drafts and other misc high school crap and dump the contents of said TP case into trunk. Rolls must be removed from any plastic wrapper or paper sleeve. Wear an over-sized coat that has a drawstring or elastic waist.
Wait till dark. Drive past the house to make sure that no one is coming or going or peeing in the yard. Park past the sight of the house. Sneak out of the car, trying to not laugh or swear too loud. Flashlights are NOT ALLOWED. Just the right amount of moonlight is helpful. Too much and you can be seen. Too little and you run into bolts and have to make up stories about playing hide and seek in the dark.
Stuff your coat full of tp rolls. Do not close the trunk lid, you may need to throw extra rolls inside or someone may need to dive into it in a mad-dash escape (another reason for emptying contents of tp case, it's a good cushion for the trunk-diver).
Sneak into the yard. Loosen paper on tp rolls and, using a flicking motion of the wrist, unroll the paper about 2 feet. Toss the roll HIIIIIIGH into the air toward the top limbs of a tree. Keep a watchful eye on the windows and doors of the victim's house, preparing yourself to flop your body on the ground at a moment's notice to keep from being seen.
I find it hard to believe that you weren't "popular enough" te get your yard rolled (Sand Mountain terminology.) If you want, send me your address and I'll be more than glad to roll your yard now. It'd be good exercise and sooo much fun. If you want, I'll knock on your door and you can help.
Yard rolling is a family tradition for us. My mom used to take my brother and me! I'm telling you, we're Olympic class rednecks.
The Mighty Hunter's friends would throw "wetties" at cars. Wetties are soaked tp. Police were called. Car keys were taken away. Beer might have been poured out. Lives were definitely threatened.
Our pastor's wife forked our pianist's yard. I know. I should explain this. She stuck hundreds of plastic forks in the ground in their front yard. Must be some strange Georgia version of friendly vandalism. I should probably say how much I love my preacher's wife! She's a PK like me!
I TPed all the time!
My all time favorite?? A group of us would drive around town, steal like 20-25 'for sale' signs out of peoples yards, then go place ALL the signs in someones yard we didn't like.
I was just thinking, the Queen and Suburban Oblivion know where you live....
I tried to steal the high school tampon machine once...
(don't ask.)
In junior high, we used to go to the corner market and buy our snacks in pennies. Poor cashier.
And I egged houses in high school.
I know we did the whole prank calling bit, and knocking on people's doors and then running like hell. I used to enjoy hiding/moving people's stuff and watch them look for it - oh wait I still do that. ;)
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