The What If Factor

Have you ever considered all the what ifs in life? I don't necessarily mean the regrets we all likely have. Instead, I mean those things that could be called fate, predestination, divine intervention. Do you remember the Gywneth Paltrow moving, Sliding Doors? I loved the premise of how chance occurrences shape the outcomes.

What if the circumstances of how you met your spouse were altered? For me, what if my best high school friend, LL, had asked someone else to be a bridesmaid in her wedding? I most likely would have left her reception early and not had the liquid courage to go up to Tate and talk to him. He lived in Tennessee when we met, I lived in Missouri. The likelihood of us meeting any other time was highly unlikely.

Of course, I could reach even further into my past and ask what if I'd never met LL? Maybe my Dad would have taken a job in say, Little Rock, Arkansas instead of Springfield, MO. No LL, no Tate.

Whatever you call it, fate, divine intervention...I know that I'm lucky to have met Tate. Although I may sometimes portray him as being an oaf, he's a good person who loves me. And I love him.

Without Tate, I wouldn't have Peanut or Petunia. What if a different sperm had fertilized my egg, or I'd gotten pregnant during a different month? Peanut wouldn't be Peanut. He might be Sally. Or Bruiser. I'd like to believe that THE Peanut was meant to be my son. I can't imagine being someone else's Mother.

What if I'd married my high school sweetheart? Would I have gone to college? That is doubtful, as his parents were encouraging me to put off school until he was done. I wonder what my life would be like had I not broken up with him. No regrets, just a curiosity.

What if I'd married the guy I dated in college? Would I be living in Cincinnati, dealing with a very immature man? Would we have had children? What a poor decision this would have been.

There are so many possibilities as to how our past has determined our current reality. Each step taken, road traveled, decision made, wrong turn, inconvenience, has guided us here, to now, our reality. Those same factors and possibilities will determine what lies ahead.

I don't think I'd ask for an alternate reality. I'm happy. Right here.

I have a brain cramp now.