What's Her Name...What are You Going to Call Her?
When Parent Bloggers Network came up with this Blog Blast topic, you know I couldn't possibly pass up an opportunity to bitch about annoying questions that I've been asked.
The hard part is going to be for me to FOCUS!! Having to pick just one annoying question I've been asked when pregnant or when I was a new Mom is going to be challenge.
Could it be questions that weren't even asked of me, but instead asked of my daughter, the newborn? You know those questions, where some jackass comes up to you and your crying baby and asks the baby "is your mommy just not feeding you? You poor thing."
Or they make a backhanded comment to the baby (again, who's a newborn) like "you aren't wearing any socks?!" or "you don't have a pacifier?!"
I also hate the questions from complete strangers that always swarm like mosquitoes whenever I'm out in public with Shel and she is crying. "Have you tried gripe water, swaddling, a chiropractor, Mylanta, holding her upright, holding her on her side, holding her....?"
Oh my yes, those are very annoying questions.
But the ultimate fingers on the chalkboard question has to be "what's her name?"
Seems like an innocent enough question and one that is commonly asked of all new Moms. The problem begins when I tell them her name and people respond with "well, what are you going to call her?," or "oh."
Apparently, everyone, including my own mother, hates her name.
Too bad I'm too chicken to use all the wonderful advice you bestowed upon me in this post when handling these people. And it would probably be really inappropriate, if not sick and twisted to use the butt-out tool.
Since it happens quite frequently, I've begun to respond to people by simply saying, "Her name just fits her, I think. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl." Why do I have to be so....diplomatic?!
But maybe Parent Bloggers Network has the right idea on how to handle assvice-happy strangers...
Don’t you wish you could have just handed them this?
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45 People are even more brilliant:
oohhhh i HATE, DESPISE, the pacifier question. my sister just asked me YET again, actually it was more a comment. Frass is 9 months, YES 9 months, for me that is well past the stage of TRYING to get her to use a binky. and yet when i just saw my sister she said...too bad she doesn't use a pacifier ???? as if my life was over b/c of it. i think the binky has been mentioned everytime i see her. fO(&*^ the binky
Why are so many people so annoying?
The only question that stops me in my tracks is when strangers ask how we tell our fraternal twin boys apart.
I say....
ONE HAS BLOND HAIR.
ONE HAS BROWN HAIR.
I'm with you on the pacifier, too. My baby sucks his thumb (which one friend thinks is entirely un-macho for a boy! Eh, he's a baby!!!), but people always say 'are you not going to give him a pacifier instead? it'll be easier to wean him off that than his thumb?
With my daughter it's 'where did she get that red hair?' My husband is so sick of this he's resorted to saying 'I don't know, we think it might be the mailman'!
I love her name! I think it's so unique and in a great way.
Asshats...grrrr!
I abhor the questions asked of the baby b/c they always feel like sneaky backstabs at me. My MIL does it alot and it drives me insane.
The questions I get/used to get are usuall around when I am going to do something like "when are you getting rid of the binkey?" or now it is "when are you going to potty train...?" I hate it when people ask how old babyhead is (2.5) and say, "He isn't potty trained YET?"
As far as that book...sounds interesteing but I have to agree with the one blogger to have it on hand not to give it to people but to smack them with it.
I just want to be clear...Shel has a pacifier, thus making me the binky bitch! Idiots always ask why she doesn't have a pacifier when she screaming and refuses the pacifier. Binkies are completely useless when your kid's mouth is open as wide as it will go!
Ah, my paternal grandmother hates the name for the new one due to arrive in December and, frankly, I couldn't give a rip less. Our kid, our decision, fluff off, Grandma. ;)
(Not that I would EVER say that TO my Grandma but I SURE DID THINK IT!)
(Blog blast find.)
Sandy- people want your little boy to be potty trained at 2.5?? Lordy! I'm not even going to try with Lady until she's closer to 3 years, mostly because I don't want to have to deal with all of the public bathrooms. Blech.
Our family favors different names, and we had the opposite reaction when we told everyone Lady's name. It's super traditional, and we think it was just too boring for our families to handle. But tough beans, we love the name. Dammit.
Yeah, we haven't been able to please everyone with our kids' names either. Grrrr. I think it actually WOULD be appropriate to use the butt-out tool on that! haha
Ah the pacifier and the socks. I hear that one.
I'm loving this blogblast. I wrote about the sleeping through the night thing at www.mamaknj.blogspot.com
Next time it happens you should say, "well it was between that and Placenta, and I heard them talking about all these other Placentas in the hospital and I wanted her to be original."
Idiots!
I don't know why people feel the need to comment on name choices.. it's not like you're going to change it because someone's disagreed.
I used to tell my parents that they had their chance to name their kids, now it's my turn.
For the record, I really like Shel!
Ugh! I had totally forgotten about the socks question! I used to get that from husband's grandma ALL THE TIME. In the summer!
Ahh, names. Once upon a time I was one of those rude people who felt the need to share my opinion... with my brother and sister in law... about the name they had picked out for their daughter. NOW I would never ever EVER be so forward. Naming is such a personal choice, and we now understand what it's like to have people raise an eyebrow when they hear the name you spent long hours deliberating over and LOVE. (sigh) Some people are rude, yes. Other people I think are just misinformed, or rather clueless. So all-in-all I think your diplomatic approach is probably best... giving them the benefit of the doubt and all.
"ass-vice" Haha! Love it... and totally true!
Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls
I'm glad to see that you were able to work in:
"Don’t you wish you could have just handed them this?"
I couldn't manage to. Wonder if I'll be disqualified?
I'm with you on the "name question". I think it's just one of those questions that people automatically go to and don't really care what your answer is.
Kind of like "What are you going to be when you grow up"...
So... I won't be asking her name, but you've got me curious! :-)
My Mom hates that I spelled Meghan with an "h". "But why?" I could have spelled it "Meggin..."
Must. Know. Name! So. Very. Curious!
I hate "asking the baby," too. My MIL does that ALL THE TIME. "What crazy outfit has your mommy dressed you in? Huh? What crazy outfit!" or "Doesn't your mommy know you're hungry?" or "Say, 'I'm not hungry, Mommy, I'm just spoiled'!"
We had many people comment on Cooper's name when we first told them. It was the tone in their responses that gave them away. That pause and "Oh" or "Where did you get the name Cooper?" WTF...it is a name.
We've heard many binky questions.
Damn people....
Or don't you love how "Oh, is that a FAMILY name?" is totally code for "what on earth where you thinking!"
I love different names - and even if I dislike a particular name, I'd never disrespect the parents or child by immediately dismissing it.
When a baby is cranky, I try to smile at the mom. If I have a chance, I encourage her. Who knows? Teething, tummy ache, whatever -- it's not the mom's fault the baby cries. It's what babies do.
I'm voting for the butt out tool w/these noisy annoying people.
Thanks for stopping and reading my rant!
You know, I'd completely blocked from my memory about people who DISS YOUR MOTHERING SKILLS by saying stuff to the baby
"Oh, little guy, shouldn't you be wearing a sweater in this wind?"
Nice, lady. Thanks for twisting that knife of motherhood guilt in my back. B*tch.
It's been entertaining to read these posts and a good reminder about stupid crap people say!
Great post....I get the thumb sucking one...."WHEN is she going ot stop sucking her thumb?"
I love when people, let alone strangers, tell you they don't like that name.
The nerve!
OH I didn't tell you about the name thing...when we chose our son's name my FIL opened his mouth and said, "but that is a Black name..."...yea he is a bigot but the only reason he said it was because he knew a black man with the same name. I had to inform him that number one...it was none of his business if we wanted to give our son a "black name" and number two it is a very traditional Irish name (I am Irish).
Idiot. Some people just need to keep their mouth shut so they can keep the stupid in.
What is her name, anyway?
I hate that, too. When Cordy was a baby, we got lots of weird looks when we'd tell people her name. "Cordelia? Where did you come up with that one?" Uh, King Lear. Shakespeare. Read a little, people.
I also hate when random strangers, who you will never see again, ask the baby's name. Why does it matter - you'll never see my child again!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Shel's real name...but I think I already told you that...
We have friends who just had a baby and named her Addison. That also happens to be the name of the town I grew up in. So I had to bite my tongue on that one.
I think Shel's name is beautiful-
As a Jennifer myself I think it is GREAT to name a child something beautiful and unique.
I get the same old same old "Are they twins?" and then "A boy and a girl?" Seriously, they are both in pink coats people, or in sundresses, or with piggy tails. Neither one is a boy!!!!
(I hear from parents of actual boy/girl twins that then next question is "Are they identical?" Um, yeah, except for their genetalia? WTF???)
So anyway, I hear ya!
The worst thing ever? Like.. ever? Is that my poor neighbors just had a baby, too, and we ran in to them on the street and my MOTHER says, "Your baby is telling you she's tired" all because she saw a video about baby language. I almost DIED. I hate assvice myself and refuse to give it. Sadly, we may never be there friend because my mom doesn't feel the same way. *Sigh*
My MIL is an expert at making me think I've screwed up in this department. She actually convinced me to change my youngest daughter's name from Elizabeth to Catherine Elizabeth, because she got me soooo mad at her and I had a moment of weakness. Why do people think they have the right?
People are such asses. I love your daughter's name. I guess you should have just named her something really popular, like Emma so that you would could be accepted by strangers??
Everyone always feels the need to point out that my daughter has a boy's name (really? Holy shit, I had no idea!) I also love the reaction to my kids' names that goes like this - "That's different." And you know it's not a good kind of different.
people are arses.
and i am dying - seriously, dying - to know Shel's name now.
Terrific post. The most annoying question for me was "Oh my G-d what happened to his head?" with regards to the large hemangioma Sweet Boy had on top of his head. Of course it was EXTREMELY noticeable before he grew hair. Then it became less of a big deal. The whole thing shrunk and went away by the time he turned 4 but for the first year or two that question got really old. Really fast.
My curious side is now also dying to know what Shel's name is now. When I came up with my daughter's name-Kaitlyn-I had so many people say either "really? That's unusual" (no it's not, it was the eighth most popular girl's name in 2005) or "Shouldn't you spell it the traditional way, CAITLIN?" (again, eighth most popular name, spelled KAITLYN). AND, I thought I was being clever with the spelling, because my Mother's middle name was Kay, and my sister and SIL's middles names are Lynn. go figure.
You can see the disdain on people's faces when they don't like your kid's name...been there.
I hope I don't do that...
I get a similar question about Lucky's real name. I tell them that he is named after a John Wayne character. This is true but mostly it's a coincidence. Then I feel pressured to tell them that The Mighty Hunter wanted to name him after his own dad - who has a HORRIBLE name - and I won that fight.
I've missed reading your posts lately and am sorry your weekend was so sucky. I wish I had been free (aka w/o mom and kids) and could have visited with you - or taken you with me to Lamberts and let you see me get hit in the face with a hot roll. That should have made you giggle a little.
I also meant to say that Shel's name is beautiful. Very Old South souding to me. Stinkerbell's middle name is Christine and it, to me, has a sort of dignified lady-like attitude to it... Like Shel's name.
For Stinkerbell, the classy middle name balances the stripper/lap-dancer/prostitute association that her first name gets.
Gosh i hate it when people who have to right doing so try to give their opion - i had a health professional go on and on about my childrens diets the other day - how Rebecca needs more fat and that i should FORCE Eilidh to eat from a spoon even if it makes her misrable. Why was it any of her buisness?
hi my christian name is chrishrie a name i never heard before so if anyone knows what it mean please writ it in here so i can check and know what it means.
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